Into the Storm

"Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him."
Matthew 8:23 (NKJV)

Have you ever found yourself in a boat in the middle of an ocean and wondered how you got there. Never mind that the boat in the middle of the ocean is being pelted with a raging storm.  Do you continue to scratch your head start asking "why" or maybe at this point start to panic? I don't think any of this is uncommon to the human experience.  However, I have learned a few things in my times at sea; and yes I meant 'times' to be plural for a reason. I think we all go through seasons with the Lord where He leads us into a boat and if we are followers of Him we climb on in, no matter how new in Christ we are.  What happens next is where the difference comes in for me from my earlier walk with Christ and some of my previous storms and this one.  

"And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep." (Matthew 8:24).  The storm arose, we are not promised that one will not, but the previous verse shows that Jesus got into the boat first. So, but can rest in the knowledge that when the storm comes we will not be alone.  But here is the key difference that I want to point out that made all the difference in my storm this time, "But He was asleep." I think in much of my early walk with Christ He was asleep in me.  I knew He was supposed to be alive in me but I didn't always live like it.  This time, I am referring to the storm of my father's cancer and subsequent death, I knew Christ was alive in me and it made all the difference.

Instead of my plea to the Lord being like that of the disciples, "Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We are perishing!'"(Matthew 8:25), I was able to come to the Lord with another kind of prayer. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7).

I have to be honest, the Lord took me to a new level through this time and showed me a new fear and anxiety that resided deep within that I did not realize was there. "O Lord, You have searched me and known me." (Psalm 139:1).  He searched my heart just liked the disciples. "But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm." (Matthew 8:26).  And when He had given me the answer to my fear and anxiety, He gave me victory and peace over it.

When the disciples witnessed Jesus calming the wind and sea they were astonished.  "So the men marveled, saying, 'Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?'" (Matthew 8:27).  

Like the disciples, I am amazed and awe-struck at the awesomeness of my God every time He calms a storm in my life. Not because I wonder who He is, but because I know who He is.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"
Psalm 46:10 (NKJV)

 

Thought Garden

"Plant a seed within your mind, 

And rear the tender thought. 

Cultivating it to grow,

And reap a bountiful crop."
 ~ Deanna Bonn

It all started as an idea, a thought.  That thought needed to be cultivated, it needed to be tended. It needed nourishment and it even needed to be pruned.  But that thought came to life and became a life sustaining organization.  We all hope the thoughts we plant and grow are life giving and life sustaining.
Just as the organization that is near to my heart chooses to not only help but to "hope" the starving by teaching them how to plant and grow life giving food for themselves.

Numana Inc., based in El Dorado, KS, is a non-profit 501(c)(3) public charity formed in August 2008, as an international hunger relief organization. Their first food-packaging event was held in El Dorado, KS in December of 2009. Since then they have packaged over 27 million meals from coast to coast with the help of over 170,000 volunteers. To date, Numana events have benefited children and families in The United States of America, Haiti, Vietnam, El Salvador, Honduras, Columbia, South Africa, Rwanda and Liberia. And this is just the beginning.

They have also started to hope the community of El Dorado with Numana Gardens, which is a community program in place to give people an opportunity to volunteer and serve the hungry in their immediate area.  From the El Dorado Numana Garden they have been able to serve: 

Prospect School - Hundreds of starter plants were raised by Prospect students and purchased for planting at Numana Gardens

Kids Need to Eat Program – 60 children receive lunch through the summer at Skelly school on a daily basis.
El Dorado Salvation Army - Serving 35 families in El Dorado per week.
Senior Center - Boxes of fresh produce dropped off weekly for members enjoyment
Towanda Food Pantry (Moms In Prayer) – Serving 15 families per week in the Towanda community.
Volunteers - Through partnerships with BCC, churches, K-State Extension office, and others; Numana provides educational and volunteer opportunities at the garden.

Numana is in the process of "planting" other community gardens around the world to hope the people in other impoverished situations.   

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
Proverbs 18:21

Potter's Hands

"Beautiful Lord, Wonderful savior
I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands
Crafted into your perfect plans
You gently called me into your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life
Through your eyes
I'm captured by your holy calling
Set me apart. I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me, Lord. I pray
Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the potter's hand
Oh Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the potter's hand
You gently call me into your presence
Guiding me by your holy spirit
Teach me dear lord to live all of my life through your eyes
I'm captured by your holy calling
Set me apart. I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me, Lord. I pray
Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the potter's hand
Oh Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the potter's hand"(C) Hillsong United, Shout to the Lord 2000 [1999] 

This song came to mind this evening as a result of God Orchestrating dinner on my behalf.  You may be asking yourself how do the two events relate.  Let me explain.

Since the passing of my father, I have had cough, sore throat and head cold that will not go away despite taking medication, eating cough drops like candy and drinking cold bottles of water as if I were in the desert all to no avail.  All the while I have been asked by multiple friends if there is anything they can do for me during this time of grief.  I thank them politely and respond with "I can't think of anything."  

Then this afternoon as I was about to meet a friend for lunch another friend approached me and expressed her sympathy and asked if there was anything I needed.  I said probably but I have such a hard time asking for help.  Then she said, "You know where to find me."  This friend goes to my church and I realized the Lord was telling me I need Him.  And more than that, I know where to find Him and all I need to do is ask.  I needed to quit being so polite and acting as if I had it all together and be willing to ask for help, that is what the body of Christ is there for.  

Finally, I decided to call my church and express my need.  I was sick, I was tired and all of this on top of planning my father's funeral at the end of the day I was emotionally spent and would just look inside my refrigerator or pantry trying to find the desire to cook something.  I could use a meal or two during this time.  I didn't realize how hard it was for me to admit I needed help. While I was asking for the help, I even tried to take it back and say never mind I didn't want to put anyone out. But the person on the other end would hear of it and insisted on calling my Sunday School teacher to see about setting up a few meals.  This is where the Potter's Hands comes in.  God is so good. 

My Sunday School teacher called later that afternoon and could hear the hoarseness in my voice and asked what I felt like for dinner.  He said he wasn't a great cook so he was going to pick something up and did I have a preference.  I said no.  He asked if soup sounded good and I said YES!  I had been thinking about soup all day and had some for lunch even. He then asked if I would like Egg Drop Soup from a Chinese restaurant in town that just so happens to be my favorite place to get Egg Drop Soup when I am sick and the very thing my own father used to do for me when I was sick. I said I would love the soup.  It was perfect, exactly what I needed.  And it was.  He then asked if I'd like the crackers with it and maybe Crab Rangoons; all of the things my own father would bring to me when I was sick.

God is so good to orchestrate every detail of our lives if we will let Him.  He has good gifts He wants to give us.  He is waiting for us to ask Him.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11 (NKJV)

Today

"Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know."

Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV)

I received a phone call last night from one of my father's oldest friends and one he had lost touch with. He had read my father's obituary in the newspaper in our home state.  He searched out my phone number and called to give his condolences.  We had met only one time before in a chance encounter when I had been working just out of college and he came to make a repair call on a piece of equipment at my place of employment.  As we talked, he recognized my last name and I recognized his name and he asked if I was the daughter of his old friend.  I assured him I was and we talked briefly then making connection with a face to the name of my father's boyhood friend.  They had grown up across the street from one another from the time they were about 4 years old until they both joined the military during Viet Nam.  They were true friends.  They played together and got in trouble together.

My father had told me stories of their growing up together but it was so nice to hear the stories from the other point of view and how similarly they synced up.  My father's friend told me how they were in cub scouts together and would ride their bicycles everywhere. He even told me how they joined the military together.

He remembered having backyard barbecues with his family and inviting my father and grandmother over, as she was a single parent by then, and she would make "Orange Chicken" a recipe he could never get quite right all these years.  I gave him the "secret" ingredient and it felt like my grandmother would approve.   I told him that my father had lung cancer with metastatic brain cancer and that near the end of his life he tried to reach out to his old friends he had lost touch with.  Friendship and leaving a legacy were all that seemed to matter to my father in the end.  He would have really enjoyed the conversation with his friend, but I know God Orchestrates everything for a reason and perhaps that conversation was for me or for his friend.  Only The Lord knows for sure.

While my father and his friend went to different churches growing up, it was evident in our conversation we both had a deep faith and he was so very happy to know our family had the blessed assurance that my father was with the Lord. We ended our conversation with him saying a prayer for me, my family and the knowledge that my father was now in heaven with Jesus where he suffered no more.

One thing I have learned through loving my father through his dying process is to not wait, Love Each Day Without Regrets.  Life is too short and you never know when you go to make that phone call if the person will be there to take it.  Make the call today.  Tell the person you love today. Take the time to go to lunch with the friend today.  Do the thing you have been putting off today.

"but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end, while it is said: 'Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.'"  Hebrews 3:13-16
  

God's Cross

"But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation...and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. And He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near." Ephesians 2:13-17 (NKJV)

In the previous post, "God's Sign" I found the Cross.  The word dates back before the 12^th century and comes from Middle English, from Old English, from Old Norse or Old Irish; Old Norse kross, from Old Irish cros, from Latin cruc-, crux.

¹cross 1 a : a structure consisting of an upright with a transverse beam used especially by the ancient Romans for execution b often capitalized : the cross on which Jesus was crucified
2 a : CRUCIFIXION b : an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience
3 : a cruciform sign made to invoke the blessing of Christ especially by touching the forehead, breast, and shoulders
4 a : a device composed of an upright bar traversed by a horizontal one; specifically : one used as a Christian symbol b capitalized : the Christian religion

Right there with the first definition, God’s Orchestra pointed me to Jesus!  That’s what He was saying, “show them the signs.”  They all point to Jesus.  Take the time and look for them and share them with others.

"The Lord gave the word; great was the company of those who proclaimed it:" Psalm 68:11 (NKJV)

God's Sign

"Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."  Isaiah 1:18 (NIV)

In the post titled "His Design" I continued to define God's Orchestra using Merriam-Webster's Dictionary. From the definition of 'design' I could see the emphasis on the word sign. When I replaced 'design' with 'sign' God’s Orchestra became God's Sign. 

This revelation reinforces the my very first notion that God's Orchestra is all around us.  The people in our lives; every conversation we have; the books we read; the songs we sing; every action we take; they are all individual notes within God’s Orchestra.  Your body is your instrument; your life is your opus. “...for in Him we live and move and have our being...” Acts 17:28 (NKJV)

The word sign dates back to the 13^th century and has it’s etymology in Middle English, from Middle French signer; from Latin signare to mark, sign, seal, from signum. 

sign 1 a : CROSS 2 b : to place a sign on c : to represent or indicate by a sign
2 a : to affix a signature to : ratify or attest by hand or seal <sign a bill into law> <the prisoner signed a confession> b : to assign or convey formally <signed over his property to his brother> c : to write down (one's name)
3 : to communicate by making a sign or by sign language
4 : to engage or hire by securing the signature of on a contract of employment -- often used with up or on
intransitive senses
1 : to write one's name in token of assent, responsibility, or obligation
2 a : to make a sign or signal b : to use sign language
- sign·ee /"sI-'nE/ noun
- sign·er /'sI-n&r/ noun

And the very first entry for sign was 'cross'.  Before I went to look up the definition of cross, I knew what I would find.  WOW!  Right there in the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, God’s Orchestra pointed me to the Cross.   Replacing 'sign' with 'cross' I now have God’s Cross! 

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18 (NIV)

His Design

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah 43:19

In a previous post "His Plan"I continued to define God's Orchestra using Merriam-Webster's Dictionary. From the definition of 'plan' I could see the emphasis on the word design. So following my earlier notion, I replaced 'plan' with 'design' and I have God’s Design.

The word design can be traced back to the 14th century, finding it’s etymology from Middle English, to outline, indicate, mean; from Middle French designer to designate; from Medieval Latin designare; from Latin, to mark out, from de- + signare to mark.

¹de·sign, transitive senses, 1 : to create, fashion, execute, or construct according to plan : DEVISE, CONTRIVE
2 a : to conceive and plan out in the mind <he designed the perfect crime> b : to have as a purpose : INTEND <she designed to excel in her studies> c : to devise for a specific function or end <a book designed primarily as a college textbook>
3 archaic : to indicate with a distinctive mark, sign, or name
4 a : to make a drawing, pattern, or sketch of b : to draw the plans for
intransitive senses
1 : to conceive or execute a plan
2 : to draw, lay out, or prepare a design
- de·sign·ed·ly adverb 

While reading the definitions for design, I noted the third entry was archaic in meaning and my attention was drawn to the word sign.  “Show them the signs” this is how it all started out!  

My heart began to race as God's Orchestra started to reveal itself.  I replaced the word 'design' with 'sign' and God's Orchestra becomes God’s Sign.  

"Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."  Isaiah 1:18

Hope

"... for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5b (NKJV)

Coming face to face with separation anxiety has to be one of the more deeply painful experiences I can share with you.  Logically, I can tell you why this anxiety makes its presence known in my mind.  But emotionally I continue to find myself sucker-punched when I least expect it.  

My father has Stage 4 lung cancer that has metastasized to the brain.  While dealing with his doctors and nurses and all of the day to day issues of life and dying, I began to eat and sleep less than my body required. 

"The peace of God, which passeth all understanding..."(Philippians 4:7) had kept my heart and mind through Christ Jesus and carried me through these past several months.  But when my sisters and I went to pre-plan funeral arrangements for my father I began to lose a battle in my mind that I didn't realize was being waged. As a result my mind went to a dark place worrying about everyone I care about and love. 

Thoughts of each person raced through my mind and fear set in as I began to worry that my loved ones were going to leave.  Now, realistically I understood my father was ill and when it is God's time, my father will exchange his earthly body for an eternal one and take up residence in Heaven.  But I couldn't understand why I started to fear the loss of everyone. This fear of loss continued to spiral until that is all I could see.

After help from friends and family and a team of doctors, nurses and pastors, I was finally able to identify the source of my anxiety. "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7) and it is with this knowledge that God carried me through the battle of my mind.  

Ever feel cold with the sun on your face?

Ever feel alone in a crowded place?

Ever feel ashamed for a part of your past?

Ever feel like the dye's been cast?

When you find yourself there

And you are haunted by your cares.

Remember, you've got to carry on,

It's always darkest before dawn.

So when the day breaks anew

You will see the Son shining through.

And then you will know

You are never alone.