Are You A Water Walker?

"Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.” 

Matthew 14:22-33 (NKJV)

Jesus made His disciples get into the boat.  Did you notice that? And while they were out on the sea Jesus was up on the Mountain praying to the Father. What do you suppose He was praying about? Do you think He was unaware of the circumstances the disciples were about to find themselves in? Of course not! He sent them ahead of Himself in that boat and knowing all things, He knew what they would encounter and He prayed.  We have an intercessor who stands before the Father praying for us. Isn't that a comfort? 

Not only did He know what they were going through but He let them go through it for awhile.  Think about that. A storm was brewing, they were in the will of God, He sent them there and yet He waited until the fourth watch of the night (just before dawn) before He stepped out onto the water.  Imagine for a second. They had been rowing against the waves fighting the wind all night, while Jesus prayed and just before dawn He steps into the storm! 

The disciples thought it was a ghost. But not Peter. He recognized His Lord in the midst of all that was transpiring around him and with eyes on Him shouted, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”  Jesus said "Come" as He calls for all of us when He beckon us to walk on water.  

Peter, momentarily, abandoned all for Jesus and stepped out of the boat and toward Jesus.  Peter was a water walker.  But all too quickly his eyes darted away from Jesus and onto the winds, his surrounding circumstances, and he began to sink. How often do we start out eyes on Jesus only to glance away at our circumstances? Or are you like the other disciples still too afraid to step out of the boat?  

Jesus immediately reached out His hand for Peter. You see, it's not the other way around. We can't save ourselves when we are sinking. 

But Jesus wants to grow our faith past just trusting in Him for saving faith.  He is always going to be there to save us.  “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Gently admonishing Peter and us. He wants us to learn to walk on water with Him. 

If we will keep our eyes on Jesus despite the storms, the surrounding circumstances, step out in faith and walk on water toward Him, He will lead us to the boat and stop the storms and when that happens all who witness will worship Him for they will see "Truly [He is] the Son of God.” 

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" 

Psalms 46:10 (NKJV)

What is your name?

"And he arose that night and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven sons, and crossed over the ford of Jabbok. He took them, sent them over the brook, and sent over what he had. Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. And He said, “Let Me go, for the day breaks.” But he said, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!” So He said to him, “What is your name?” He said, “Jacob.” And He said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked, saying, “Tell me Your name, I pray.” And He said, “Why is it that you ask about My name?” And He blessed him there."
Genesis 32:22-29 (NKJV)

Do you know who you are? Do you know you the way the Almighty knows you? What does your name say about you?

Jacob was given his name meaning "heel grabber" when he grabbed his twin brother Esau's heel as he was born. The name also means supplanter or trickster and boy, did Jacob live up to his name! He spent much of his life using trickery to get ahead. But he was always running, afraid something or someone from his past would catch up with him. 

With God's help he admitted his fear and determined to make amends with his brother Esau for all the wrongs he had done him. But along the way God stepped in and had a one on one encounter with Jacob that changed him forever. Once he had decided to give everything over to The Lord and face what He had been running from an Angel of The Lord showed up and wrestled with Jacob. I think He was helping to him to finally see he was no longer the man he used to be, no longer Jacob the trickster. He was now Israel, blessed by God! He was to walk in this newness of life and not in his old ways. As a reminder, He left him with a limp.

We all have limps or scars from walking in our old way of life. But God has given us a new Name if we will use it and walk it in.

I refuse to settle for less than God's best. What about you? What does your name say about you? Are you walking in the power of your own name or His?

"Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."
Philippians 2:9-11 (NKJV)

Count Your Blessings

Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad. 

Proverbs 12:25 (NKJV)

Jesus came to bring light into the darkness and that is exactly what He did for me on Christmas Eve.

I had been struggling with sadness and a debilitating depression all day. That day marked one month since my father's death and it was difficult for me to focus on the meaning of Christmas. All I could think of was that my father was not there to share it with me. I cried. I tried not to cry. I cried some more. I could not even wrap the remaining gifts that needed Christmas paper and ribbon so they could be placed under the tree.

I had to get out of my house where everything was reminding me of the Christmas I spent with my father the year before.

I spent the afternoon at my sister's house preparing for Christmas dinner at her house. It helped to occupy my mind a little but she knew I was having a tough day. Neither one of us were looking forward to celebrating this first holiday without dad.

That evening, on my way home, I realized I needed to get ready for the Christmas Eve Candle Light Service. In the car I began to pray/talk to God about needing help focusing on the reason for the season - Jesus - not my grief. I began to recount out loud why we celebrate Christmas... 

"Jesus was born so He could live His life on earth to die for my sins, He rose from the dead and is in Heaven where my father is with God and I don't need to be sad about that!"

Now, I have to preface what happened next with the fact that The Lord had been impressing upon me to count my blessings for three days and I had been. It started quite simply as little prayer thanking Him for the blessings of a friend and her daughters, but then He led me to read the Hymn "Count Your Blessings" which I had never done before. It really put things into perspective for me, so I had been trying to consciously count my blessings and thank The Lord when He brought to mind all the people in my life He has blessed me with...however, that day I was struggling and had not been able to. So, when I prayed and audibly recounted why I was going to the Candle Light Service I was choosing to break through the fog of depression and count the blessing of Christmas.

I didn't feel better immediately. In fact, nothing changed. I felt the same.

This small prayer gave me enough energy to focus on getting to church but the truth is the depression was so strong I struggled with the simple task of getting my hair and makeup done, so my daughter did it for me. I was determined not to miss the service no matter how heavy the weight of depression seemed.

I stepped into the sanctuary, then I began to feel overwhelmed.  All but the front row of seats taken - that was where I sat last year with dad. "It will be ok," I thought. Then I heard, "the front row is reserved for the pretty ladies." I looked and was greeted with a warm smile and a hug. I didn't feel as overwhelmed and realized God was in control so I took and deep breath and sat down.

A few minutes went by as I surveyed the manger scene, the cross, the candles and more people filtered in and took their seats. Then I heard a familiar voice directly behind me. I began to turn around and I felt a hand on my shoulder, "I've been thinking about you." In a sincere voice that only another who understands the loss of someone dear could express in that moment.

"It's been tough, I've had a hard day." I said. 

"Count your blessings!" Was the reply. And at that very moment Jesus showed up for me. I was witness to the true meaning of Christmas in that instant. Jesus came to shine His Light into my darkness as my earlier prayer was answered right there through my friend. God was reminding me I have choice to change my perspective and I had made that choice in the car earlier. While I didn't "see" it or "feel" different at the time, I continued to move forward in faith and in an instant during that conversation, in response to my faith, God lifted the grief and depression I had been feeling and gave me a blessing through my friend. 

"Count Your Blessings"
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Refrain:
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
*Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.
[*And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.]

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings—*money cannot buy [*wealth can never buy]
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

(C) Johnson Oatman, Jr., pub.1897, public domain.

God's Best

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

Matthew 7:7-12

When you pray, do you trust for God's best? Do you pray for your will or His? He instructs us to ask Him for our necessities for He knows those things we need before we ask.

"For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:32-34

There is a Latin phrase, "In mediocriti triumphus Inceptamus secundi esse" which roughly translated is a sarcastic saying meaning, "Why strive for first when second best is good enough?" I have learned that the good is often the enemy of the best.

But it is His desire to '...give you the desires of your heart..." when you "Take [your] delight in the Lord..." Psalm 37:4  He will place the best things you can desire into your heart when you place Him there first.

Seek Him first, then trust He will give you the desires He has placed into your heart.


"Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."

John 16:24

Walking Through Valleys

Psalm 23
"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever."

Anticipating today to be a difficult one as we celebrate my father's life and legacy and take him to his final resting place, I also anticipate my Heavenly Father to be by my side every step of the day and if I should need Him to, He will catch every tear I shed. It is comforting to know that I do not have to walk this journey alone.  God is with me, just as He is with my Father.  This gives me a calm and peace that helps me and when others have asked, "I don't know how people get through this without God?" I am blessed to say I don't know the answer to that question but would want to tell others they don't have to be alone.  God is right there for them, catching their tears, too, carrying them through their dark nights and valleys, also.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 

Into the Storm

"Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him."
Matthew 8:23 (NKJV)

Have you ever found yourself in a boat in the middle of an ocean and wondered how you got there. Never mind that the boat in the middle of the ocean is being pelted with a raging storm.  Do you continue to scratch your head start asking "why" or maybe at this point start to panic? I don't think any of this is uncommon to the human experience.  However, I have learned a few things in my times at sea; and yes I meant 'times' to be plural for a reason. I think we all go through seasons with the Lord where He leads us into a boat and if we are followers of Him we climb on in, no matter how new in Christ we are.  What happens next is where the difference comes in for me from my earlier walk with Christ and some of my previous storms and this one.  

"And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep." (Matthew 8:24).  The storm arose, we are not promised that one will not, but the previous verse shows that Jesus got into the boat first. So, but can rest in the knowledge that when the storm comes we will not be alone.  But here is the key difference that I want to point out that made all the difference in my storm this time, "But He was asleep." I think in much of my early walk with Christ He was asleep in me.  I knew He was supposed to be alive in me but I didn't always live like it.  This time, I am referring to the storm of my father's cancer and subsequent death, I knew Christ was alive in me and it made all the difference.

Instead of my plea to the Lord being like that of the disciples, "Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We are perishing!'"(Matthew 8:25), I was able to come to the Lord with another kind of prayer. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7).

I have to be honest, the Lord took me to a new level through this time and showed me a new fear and anxiety that resided deep within that I did not realize was there. "O Lord, You have searched me and known me." (Psalm 139:1).  He searched my heart just liked the disciples. "But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm." (Matthew 8:26).  And when He had given me the answer to my fear and anxiety, He gave me victory and peace over it.

When the disciples witnessed Jesus calming the wind and sea they were astonished.  "So the men marveled, saying, 'Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?'" (Matthew 8:27).  

Like the disciples, I am amazed and awe-struck at the awesomeness of my God every time He calms a storm in my life. Not because I wonder who He is, but because I know who He is.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"
Psalm 46:10 (NKJV)

 

Thought Garden

"Plant a seed within your mind, 

And rear the tender thought. 

Cultivating it to grow,

And reap a bountiful crop."
 ~ Deanna Bonn

It all started as an idea, a thought.  That thought needed to be cultivated, it needed to be tended. It needed nourishment and it even needed to be pruned.  But that thought came to life and became a life sustaining organization.  We all hope the thoughts we plant and grow are life giving and life sustaining.
Just as the organization that is near to my heart chooses to not only help but to "hope" the starving by teaching them how to plant and grow life giving food for themselves.

Numana Inc., based in El Dorado, KS, is a non-profit 501(c)(3) public charity formed in August 2008, as an international hunger relief organization. Their first food-packaging event was held in El Dorado, KS in December of 2009. Since then they have packaged over 27 million meals from coast to coast with the help of over 170,000 volunteers. To date, Numana events have benefited children and families in The United States of America, Haiti, Vietnam, El Salvador, Honduras, Columbia, South Africa, Rwanda and Liberia. And this is just the beginning.

They have also started to hope the community of El Dorado with Numana Gardens, which is a community program in place to give people an opportunity to volunteer and serve the hungry in their immediate area.  From the El Dorado Numana Garden they have been able to serve: 

Prospect School - Hundreds of starter plants were raised by Prospect students and purchased for planting at Numana Gardens

Kids Need to Eat Program – 60 children receive lunch through the summer at Skelly school on a daily basis.
El Dorado Salvation Army - Serving 35 families in El Dorado per week.
Senior Center - Boxes of fresh produce dropped off weekly for members enjoyment
Towanda Food Pantry (Moms In Prayer) – Serving 15 families per week in the Towanda community.
Volunteers - Through partnerships with BCC, churches, K-State Extension office, and others; Numana provides educational and volunteer opportunities at the garden.

Numana is in the process of "planting" other community gardens around the world to hope the people in other impoverished situations.   

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
Proverbs 18:21

Potter's Hands

"Beautiful Lord, Wonderful savior
I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands
Crafted into your perfect plans
You gently called me into your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life
Through your eyes
I'm captured by your holy calling
Set me apart. I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me, Lord. I pray
Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the potter's hand
Oh Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the potter's hand
You gently call me into your presence
Guiding me by your holy spirit
Teach me dear lord to live all of my life through your eyes
I'm captured by your holy calling
Set me apart. I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me, Lord. I pray
Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the potter's hand
Oh Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the potter's hand"(C) Hillsong United, Shout to the Lord 2000 [1999] 

This song came to mind this evening as a result of God Orchestrating dinner on my behalf.  You may be asking yourself how do the two events relate.  Let me explain.

Since the passing of my father, I have had cough, sore throat and head cold that will not go away despite taking medication, eating cough drops like candy and drinking cold bottles of water as if I were in the desert all to no avail.  All the while I have been asked by multiple friends if there is anything they can do for me during this time of grief.  I thank them politely and respond with "I can't think of anything."  

Then this afternoon as I was about to meet a friend for lunch another friend approached me and expressed her sympathy and asked if there was anything I needed.  I said probably but I have such a hard time asking for help.  Then she said, "You know where to find me."  This friend goes to my church and I realized the Lord was telling me I need Him.  And more than that, I know where to find Him and all I need to do is ask.  I needed to quit being so polite and acting as if I had it all together and be willing to ask for help, that is what the body of Christ is there for.  

Finally, I decided to call my church and express my need.  I was sick, I was tired and all of this on top of planning my father's funeral at the end of the day I was emotionally spent and would just look inside my refrigerator or pantry trying to find the desire to cook something.  I could use a meal or two during this time.  I didn't realize how hard it was for me to admit I needed help. While I was asking for the help, I even tried to take it back and say never mind I didn't want to put anyone out. But the person on the other end would hear of it and insisted on calling my Sunday School teacher to see about setting up a few meals.  This is where the Potter's Hands comes in.  God is so good. 

My Sunday School teacher called later that afternoon and could hear the hoarseness in my voice and asked what I felt like for dinner.  He said he wasn't a great cook so he was going to pick something up and did I have a preference.  I said no.  He asked if soup sounded good and I said YES!  I had been thinking about soup all day and had some for lunch even. He then asked if I would like Egg Drop Soup from a Chinese restaurant in town that just so happens to be my favorite place to get Egg Drop Soup when I am sick and the very thing my own father used to do for me when I was sick. I said I would love the soup.  It was perfect, exactly what I needed.  And it was.  He then asked if I'd like the crackers with it and maybe Crab Rangoons; all of the things my own father would bring to me when I was sick.

God is so good to orchestrate every detail of our lives if we will let Him.  He has good gifts He wants to give us.  He is waiting for us to ask Him.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11 (NKJV)

Today

"Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know."

Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV)

I received a phone call last night from one of my father's oldest friends and one he had lost touch with. He had read my father's obituary in the newspaper in our home state.  He searched out my phone number and called to give his condolences.  We had met only one time before in a chance encounter when I had been working just out of college and he came to make a repair call on a piece of equipment at my place of employment.  As we talked, he recognized my last name and I recognized his name and he asked if I was the daughter of his old friend.  I assured him I was and we talked briefly then making connection with a face to the name of my father's boyhood friend.  They had grown up across the street from one another from the time they were about 4 years old until they both joined the military during Viet Nam.  They were true friends.  They played together and got in trouble together.

My father had told me stories of their growing up together but it was so nice to hear the stories from the other point of view and how similarly they synced up.  My father's friend told me how they were in cub scouts together and would ride their bicycles everywhere. He even told me how they joined the military together.

He remembered having backyard barbecues with his family and inviting my father and grandmother over, as she was a single parent by then, and she would make "Orange Chicken" a recipe he could never get quite right all these years.  I gave him the "secret" ingredient and it felt like my grandmother would approve.   I told him that my father had lung cancer with metastatic brain cancer and that near the end of his life he tried to reach out to his old friends he had lost touch with.  Friendship and leaving a legacy were all that seemed to matter to my father in the end.  He would have really enjoyed the conversation with his friend, but I know God Orchestrates everything for a reason and perhaps that conversation was for me or for his friend.  Only The Lord knows for sure.

While my father and his friend went to different churches growing up, it was evident in our conversation we both had a deep faith and he was so very happy to know our family had the blessed assurance that my father was with the Lord. We ended our conversation with him saying a prayer for me, my family and the knowledge that my father was now in heaven with Jesus where he suffered no more.

One thing I have learned through loving my father through his dying process is to not wait, Love Each Day Without Regrets.  Life is too short and you never know when you go to make that phone call if the person will be there to take it.  Make the call today.  Tell the person you love today. Take the time to go to lunch with the friend today.  Do the thing you have been putting off today.

"but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end, while it is said: 'Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.'"  Hebrews 3:13-16
  

God's Cross

"But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation...and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. And He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near." Ephesians 2:13-17 (NKJV)

In the previous post, "God's Sign" I found the Cross.  The word dates back before the 12^th century and comes from Middle English, from Old English, from Old Norse or Old Irish; Old Norse kross, from Old Irish cros, from Latin cruc-, crux.

¹cross 1 a : a structure consisting of an upright with a transverse beam used especially by the ancient Romans for execution b often capitalized : the cross on which Jesus was crucified
2 a : CRUCIFIXION b : an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience
3 : a cruciform sign made to invoke the blessing of Christ especially by touching the forehead, breast, and shoulders
4 a : a device composed of an upright bar traversed by a horizontal one; specifically : one used as a Christian symbol b capitalized : the Christian religion

Right there with the first definition, God’s Orchestra pointed me to Jesus!  That’s what He was saying, “show them the signs.”  They all point to Jesus.  Take the time and look for them and share them with others.

"The Lord gave the word; great was the company of those who proclaimed it:" Psalm 68:11 (NKJV)

God's Sign

"Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."  Isaiah 1:18 (NIV)

In the post titled "His Design" I continued to define God's Orchestra using Merriam-Webster's Dictionary. From the definition of 'design' I could see the emphasis on the word sign. When I replaced 'design' with 'sign' God’s Orchestra became God's Sign. 

This revelation reinforces the my very first notion that God's Orchestra is all around us.  The people in our lives; every conversation we have; the books we read; the songs we sing; every action we take; they are all individual notes within God’s Orchestra.  Your body is your instrument; your life is your opus. “...for in Him we live and move and have our being...” Acts 17:28 (NKJV)

The word sign dates back to the 13^th century and has it’s etymology in Middle English, from Middle French signer; from Latin signare to mark, sign, seal, from signum. 

sign 1 a : CROSS 2 b : to place a sign on c : to represent or indicate by a sign
2 a : to affix a signature to : ratify or attest by hand or seal <sign a bill into law> <the prisoner signed a confession> b : to assign or convey formally <signed over his property to his brother> c : to write down (one's name)
3 : to communicate by making a sign or by sign language
4 : to engage or hire by securing the signature of on a contract of employment -- often used with up or on
intransitive senses
1 : to write one's name in token of assent, responsibility, or obligation
2 a : to make a sign or signal b : to use sign language
- sign·ee /"sI-'nE/ noun
- sign·er /'sI-n&r/ noun

And the very first entry for sign was 'cross'.  Before I went to look up the definition of cross, I knew what I would find.  WOW!  Right there in the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, God’s Orchestra pointed me to the Cross.   Replacing 'sign' with 'cross' I now have God’s Cross! 

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18 (NIV)

His Design

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah 43:19

In a previous post "His Plan"I continued to define God's Orchestra using Merriam-Webster's Dictionary. From the definition of 'plan' I could see the emphasis on the word design. So following my earlier notion, I replaced 'plan' with 'design' and I have God’s Design.

The word design can be traced back to the 14th century, finding it’s etymology from Middle English, to outline, indicate, mean; from Middle French designer to designate; from Medieval Latin designare; from Latin, to mark out, from de- + signare to mark.

¹de·sign, transitive senses, 1 : to create, fashion, execute, or construct according to plan : DEVISE, CONTRIVE
2 a : to conceive and plan out in the mind <he designed the perfect crime> b : to have as a purpose : INTEND <she designed to excel in her studies> c : to devise for a specific function or end <a book designed primarily as a college textbook>
3 archaic : to indicate with a distinctive mark, sign, or name
4 a : to make a drawing, pattern, or sketch of b : to draw the plans for
intransitive senses
1 : to conceive or execute a plan
2 : to draw, lay out, or prepare a design
- de·sign·ed·ly adverb 

While reading the definitions for design, I noted the third entry was archaic in meaning and my attention was drawn to the word sign.  “Show them the signs” this is how it all started out!  

My heart began to race as God's Orchestra started to reveal itself.  I replaced the word 'design' with 'sign' and God's Orchestra becomes God’s Sign.  

"Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."  Isaiah 1:18

Hope

"... for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5b (NKJV)

Coming face to face with separation anxiety has to be one of the more deeply painful experiences I can share with you.  Logically, I can tell you why this anxiety makes its presence known in my mind.  But emotionally I continue to find myself sucker-punched when I least expect it.  

My father has Stage 4 lung cancer that has metastasized to the brain.  While dealing with his doctors and nurses and all of the day to day issues of life and dying, I began to eat and sleep less than my body required. 

"The peace of God, which passeth all understanding..."(Philippians 4:7) had kept my heart and mind through Christ Jesus and carried me through these past several months.  But when my sisters and I went to pre-plan funeral arrangements for my father I began to lose a battle in my mind that I didn't realize was being waged. As a result my mind went to a dark place worrying about everyone I care about and love. 

Thoughts of each person raced through my mind and fear set in as I began to worry that my loved ones were going to leave.  Now, realistically I understood my father was ill and when it is God's time, my father will exchange his earthly body for an eternal one and take up residence in Heaven.  But I couldn't understand why I started to fear the loss of everyone. This fear of loss continued to spiral until that is all I could see.

After help from friends and family and a team of doctors, nurses and pastors, I was finally able to identify the source of my anxiety. "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7) and it is with this knowledge that God carried me through the battle of my mind.  

Ever feel cold with the sun on your face?

Ever feel alone in a crowded place?

Ever feel ashamed for a part of your past?

Ever feel like the dye's been cast?

When you find yourself there

And you are haunted by your cares.

Remember, you've got to carry on,

It's always darkest before dawn.

So when the day breaks anew

You will see the Son shining through.

And then you will know

You are never alone.

Who Is Driving?

"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."
1 Corinthians 6:19-20

With my car having brake issues and now in the shop, I was driving my daughter's car, which meant she was along for the ride with me. I took her to an activity and as she sat down and buckled the passenger side seatbelt she looked to me and exclaimed, "I don't like sitting over here, this feels weird!"
I responded quickly with, "Now you know how I feel when you drive me around in my own car." 

We both sat quietly for the rest of the drive. 

The next day as I was driving alone, the Lord brought the conversation with my daughter back to my remembrance and He said, "Now you know how I feel."  

In order to play the music He has arranged for you, you have to remember "you are not your own."

Let Him in the sit in the driver's seat.

"Oh, give thanks to the Lord! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples!"
1 Chronicles 16:8

Make A Joyful Noise

"As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." I Peter 4:10 (NKJV)

"For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness."
Romans 12:4-8 (NKJV)

"And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;" Ephesians 4:11-13 (NKJV)

One of your purposes in God's Orchestra is to edify, or build one another up, through the use of your instrument with your gifts. If you don't use yours, why not? Is there an area where you can serve? Can you pray about how/where to serve? Look around at the ministries in your local church, where can your gifts best be utilized.

Do you know what your gifts are? The Lord invites you to call upon Him.
"Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV)

He encourages His children to ask for good gifts.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."
Matthew 7:7-12 (NKJV).

When you know your gifts and how to use your instrument to edify one another, you are able to show Christ-likeness to one another.
"for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure." Philippians 2:13 (NKJV)

And as a church, we will see the reality of God's word, "For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:27 (NKJV)

Once you see Him at work through you, the way you work for the Kingdom will never be the same.
"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ."
Colossians 3:23-24 (NKJV)

His Plan

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)

In a previous post "Arrangement" I continued to try and define God's Orchestra using Merriam-Webster's Dictionary. From this definition, I could see the emphasis on the word 'plan,' so following the earlier notion, I replaced 'arrange' with 'plan' and I have God’s Plan.

Now, I really think we are getting somewhere, but can it really be this simple? Would I find the meaning of God’s Orchestra, His Plan, in the dictionary?

I looked up the definition of the word plan, a noun circa 1706, which has it’s etymology from French, plane, foundation, ground plan; partly from Latin planum level ground, from neuter of planus level; partly from French planter to plant, fix in place, from Late Latin plantare.

1 plan, 1 : a drawing or diagram drawn on a plane: as a : a top or horizontal view of an object b : a large-scale map of a small area

2 a : a method for achieving an end b : an often customary method of doing something : PROCEDURE c : a detailed formulation of a program of action d : GOAL, AIM

3 : an orderly arrangement of parts of an overall design or objective

4 : a detailed program (as for payment or the provision of some service)
- plan·less adjective
- plan·less·ly adverb
- plan·less·ness noun

Concerning the third definition, I noted 'plan' to be “an orderly arrangement of parts of an overall design or objective.” The word arrangement caught my attention as well as the word design.

"For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints." I Corinthians 14:33 (NKJV)  God is an orderly God. So, I replaced plan with design and found God’s Design. 

He certainly is up to something and I am on the edge of my seat!

Love Each Day Without Regret

"Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us."
I John 4:11-12 (NKJV)

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday regarding life, death and the circumstances surrounding my father's current state of health.

He asked whether I would want to know how much time someone had left to live (as with a serious illness) and watch them fade away, or would I rather find out one day they died suddenly?

I said, selfishly, I'd want to have all the time I could with them and have "no regrets." He said, "If you live each day loving them, then you don't have the regret."

Feeling Under Appreciated?

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." - Colossians 3:23-24

In the words of men greater than I, (the Prophets Isaiah and Jeremiah and the Apostle Paul) "Woe is me!" 

I must confess the discrepancy between blog entries has been longer than I anticipated or even desired.  To be honest, life has thrown my family a curveball and I am learning to adapt and overcome on a daily basis.  My father had survived lung cancer but his failing health has our family in constant concern.  During the past couple of weeks his health has gotten worse and our need for concern was confirmed.  The cancer has metastasized to the right, rear cerebellum. This affects his motor skills and short term memory.  

It seemed as though we have been taking him to Doctor's appointments or emergency room visits day after day, sometimes twice in a day for months.  It has been exhausting.  My father used to live with me, but my sister and her family moved here from another state recently to be closer to dad and help out.  He moved in with her. 

My sister and her family were no less busy than I, as a single parent of high school Junior.  You can imagine how tired, exhausted, and under appreciated we might have all felt at times...but if my dad needed to go to the hospital at midnight, we would load the car up and take him. No hesitations. 

Having set the stage for what happened this week, I want to share with you how amazing God was to show up for me even while I was being my "woeful" human self, flesh kicked into full gear, feeling tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, sorry for myself, but trying to keep a smile on for the rest of the world.  

My father had a doctor appointment on Monday, (after I had spent a physically and emotionally exhausting week out of town with my daughter).  Typically (not always) the receptionists look at the computer screen while asking for your information in a monotone voice.  Then, without really looking up, they check you in, or say they can not help you, etc. and call for the next in line.  

This was not the case with the receptionist who we went to for help with my father's schedule.  Regina was smiling, glowing almost, as she looked at my father and asked him for his information.  When she asked if I was his emergency contact, I replied "Yes," and then it happened...her necklace sparkled, and caught my attention, to which I said "Never mind me, I am just admiring your necklace."  

Regina studied the computer screen and I could see some confusion, the same confusion we had.  "He is supposed to have an appointment tomorrow but it is not showing up in is schedule." I told her.  "Can you help us?"  
"You are right, nothing is listed here.  Let me call down to that department and find out for you." She smiled as she picked up the phone.  

Immediately, my father's phone rang.  It was Debbie from the other department to confirm my father's appointment on Tuesday.  Regina did not even have the opportunity to dial the number.  She allowed us to remain in her cubicle rather than making us move to talk on the phone.  My father had me talk to Debbie to confirm the details as his memory is failing.  

After hanging up, we thanked Regina for helping us and my dad began to walk away but Regina handed me something in an envelope.  I told her I had my father's list of appointments and medications already, but when I glanced down I saw my name on it.  She said, "It is for you." With her big, beautiful smile she handed me the envelope. Then I notice it was missing!  Her necklace.  She had taken it off and put it in the envelope.   

I was stunned.  Speechless.  My throat tightened and tears began to well up as I started to hand it back. I could not take her necklace.  She just smiled as she said, "This is for you."  My father had left for the elevator and I needed to get to him.  My head was spinning.  She does not know the circumstances facing our family or how tired I am today. If she only knew how blessed I feel in this moment.  How could I even find the words to express everything going through my mind.  I filled out a "STAR" employee recognition card at her place of employment. Not for the gift, but for the sweet patience and graciousness she showed my dad and I during such a tender time.  

Once home that afternoon, I opened the envelope and read the note she included with the necklace.  The feelings of blessing washed over me again.   
I shared this story with everyone I spoke to the whole day, until I ran out of new faces to tell. 

WOE IS ME

In the light of this blessing, still feeling overwhelmed and tired. The list of to do's seems to be longer than the day.  Between a teenage daughter, hours spent at the doctor appointments, not to mention the travel time to and from, then home to a house that needs to be picked up, laundry, dishes and dinner (which is the last thing one thinks about when under so much stress, but everyone else wants to eat). I do not even have the chance to go grocery shopping...when do I have the time, so what is there to cook?  

See, where I am going with this? I started to feel a little under appreciated...
I was running myself ragged, coming home, cleaning house, trying to pull something together for dinner when I could barely stand, jump in bed with my bible and one of three devotionals that I could read maybe a verse or paragraph before falling asleep and then doing it all over again the next day. Thursday night at my sister's house we were syncing our calendars with dad's appointment schedule.  We try to both attend, but we take when our schedules conflict.  This also helps with caregiver stress.  I am glad God moved my sister  here (another great story) and we have each other during this difficult time. 

Back to Thursday night, I began to feel under appreciated, NOT by my father or sister. It can seem that the mother's work is never done (and this is not even about my daughter) more about appreciation in general.  I started on a "little-feeling-sorry-for-myself" trip and before you know it, I was on the all-inclusive "No-One-Thanks-You-for-Dinner-Or-Helps-Around-The-House-Or-Says-Wow-You-Have-A-Lot-On-Your-Plate-And-You-Still-Do-ALL-This-For-Others-How-Can-I-Help-You?" vacation.  My bags were packed and I was set to sail off to some dreary island not focusing on the blessings and appreciation all around (more on that in a minute). 

After appointments on Friday, I searched out Regina and I heard her smiling voice helping someone else even before I could see her.  I waited until her cubicle was empty and stepped in front of it.  She stood up, eyes widened and smiling, she motioned for me to come closer.  

"I got your note." She said. "I am so happy you came back because I really wanted to tell you what happened but I did not know how to tell you right then." She began. "That morning, when I got dressed, I went to put my necklace on.  I had not seen that necklace in over a year so I put it on, but the Holy Spirit to me to take an extra one with me. I thought that was strange because I never take two necklaces to work but when the Holy Spirit tells you to do something, you obey him." She said.

Regina went on to say, "When you said you admired my necklace, the Holy Spirit said, 'Give it to her.  I want her to feel appreciated.  I want her to know I appreciate her.'"  

She said, "I was not sure how you were going to take what I had to say to you, but since you came back today, I know I have to tell you. He wants you to know, He appreciates you.  He sees what you are doing and He appreciates you." 

I started to cry, I came there to tell her how she had blessed me, even though she did not know what I was going through.  But I did not need to tell her. And she did not bless me.  God used her to bless me as He does each of us who are willing instruments in His Orchestra.  He knows everything, all the time, and He is the One we need to look to for appreciation, not other people especially and including our family and friends. 

After talking a minute more, I asked if I could use her name in writing this story and she graciously gave her permission.    

I ran into Regina one more time that afternoon, in the hallway.  She impressed upon me the message the Holy Spirit had given her (last Monday as she saw me...remember He did not tell her that morning why she would bring two necklaces to work, just to do it and she obeyed).

"He wants you to know He appreciates you.  He sees what you do. And He loves you."  Immediately, I began to mentally unpack my "feeling-sorry-myself-suitcase" and trade in the tickets to "Feeling-Overlooked-Island" at "Humble-Junction."

God is Good.  Everything He does is good. 

Feeling Anxious?

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." - Psalm 139:23, 24 (NKJV)

“It’s OK to be afraid. It’s not OK to be afraid and disobedient.” - Chip Ingram

What is God asking you to do?  Preach?  Go into the world and teach?  Pray?  Serve a specific group of His children?  Feed the hungry?  Clothe the needy?  Give?  Love the unlovely?  Are you obediently answering His call or are you afraid you lack the necessary qualifications?  Are you allowing feelings of insecurity keep you from doing the work God has gifted you to do?  

If you allow anxieties to control your actions, you may tend to tread cautiously, if you take any action at all.  This lack of boldness in activity highlights a lack of faith.  ^"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).  It is with this knowledge that you can confidently face your fears and take steps of obedience.

Happy Birthday

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;
     Before you were born I sanctified you;
          I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”
               - Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV)

How do you celebrate your birthday? Do you send invitations, order balloons, cake and ice cream? What is your favorite part about the day? Do you spend time with family and friends? What about presents? Do you look forward to packages wrapped in pretty paper?

Everyday is like your birthday with The Lord and He wants to daily bless you.  Do you see how He blesses you with gifts?  Are you willing to look for them?  When you receive them, do you acknowledge their source?

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits, the God of our salvation! Selah"
     - Psalms 68:19 (NKJV)